Praying as a Family Looks Different
by Joe Williams, with contributions from Nancy Small and Mary Beth CassidyThis story originally appeared in the Winter 2026 issue of JESUITS magazine, published by the USA East Province of the Society of Jesus.
In the Fall of 2024, Ignatian Young Adult Ministries (IYAM), an initiative of the Office of Ignatian Spirituality (OIS), partnered with GoodFaith, a non-profit Catholic apostolate, for GoodFaith’s pilot program called Family Matters. This fifteen-month spiritual program for families with children ranging from infants through high school offers families an opportunity to explore faith through prayer, service, discernment , and community building.
Now into its second cohort, Family Matters has expanded into more places, including St. Peter Catholic Church, a Jesuit parish in Charlotte, North Carolina. When IYAM and GoodFaith reached out to the parish, Nathan Evangelisto, the Associate Director of Religious Education, and Fr. Tim Stephens, SJ, the pastor, agreed that it would be a perfect fit for the parish. Nathan had been building up a young parents’ group centered around social gatherings, and it was a natural progression to bring Family Matters to this community. The program easily fit into the principles and priorities of the parish, primarily contemplation followed by action.
“Family Matters is family-oriented, but it's also community oriented,” explains Nathan. “It connects different families across the parish. And then it incorporates spiritual direction, which is key to discernment, followed by the call to action, the call to action in your family, which flows out into the community and social justice.”
The church is uniquely situated in uptown Charlotte. “Our parish is in a city setting,” continues Nathan, “where we see unhoused people right outside the building, a daily reminder that we're not meant to be a siloed-off Catholic people. We're meant to be in the world, encountering people, loving people, being disciples, not just in our own hearts and devotions, but in the world. Family Matters offers a prompting to that action step of social justice, seeing places in our community where we can reflect Christ and be the hands and feet of Christ. It’s a good fit for the families here at St. Peter.”
Pairing parents with spiritual directors is a unique aspect of Family Matters. OIS helps connect parents in the program with spiritual directors listed in the Ignatian Spiritual Direction Initiative’s Catalog of Spiritual Directors.
“It excited me to be able to offer spiritual companionship to parents who are often given the message by society that they should be able to do it all (raise children, work, nourish their marriage, maintain a household and extended family relationships, etc.) without much help.” said Amy Hoegen, a spiritual director in the Scranton area.
The parents at St. Peter have discussed their desire to pray as a family and how that practice doesn’t always look the way they want it to. Kids change your spirituality. Young families and busy families can’t always attend Mass at the same time, and when they do, having active kids during Mass doesn’t always lend itself to the reverent or spiritual experience one hopes for. The Family Matters model helps with this, setting aside dedicated time each month for spiritual direction and for group spiritual conversations as well. The program also begins with a two-month parent retreat from home that allows for time to reflect on their own faith journey and the "why" they want to pass their faith on to the next generation.
“We were grateful for the reflection questions during the parent retreat,” says Sarah Rings Morris, one of the St. Peter parents from the St. Peter cohort. “As any parent knows, it's easy to just talk about the kids all the time! We enjoyed making space to talk to each other about faith and spirituality, something we did a lot while we were dating.”
During her spiritual direction sessions with parents, Amy learned that there was a great deal of hunger among parents to connect with God on a deeper level. “Finding time to nourish their relationship with God is a significant challenge for many parents. Having dedicated time set aside each month for spiritual direction was a way they could nourish their spiritual life, explore that inborn hunger for God, and notice and respond to the Spirit of God moving in their lives.”
Nathan’s experience with Family Matters goes beyond just helping implement it as part of the parish staff. He and his wife, Alaina Evangelisto, are parents of two-year old twin girls and are current participants in their parish cohort. Nathan, an alumnus of OIS’s Contemplative Leaders in Action program, was already familiar with the tools of Ignatian spirituality, and he continues to witness those graces as a parent.
“Parenting is limiting in many ways. You're more localized and you can feel more drawn into yourself,” says Nathan. “Ignatius’ Suscipe prayer is very influential for me, I return to it, specifically, that idea of, ‘Lord, take my memory…’ As a parent, your perceived failures can become multiplied. I’m not just failing myself, I’m failing my spouse, my children. It’s easy to look backward and dwell on guilt. The Ignatian gift is taking that, sitting with it, but not keeping it internally, letting it go.”
Nathan goes on to explain a particular insight he experienced after one profound Family Matters spiritual direction session:
“My daughters had just fallen asleep, and I was quietly praying with them and over them and I had this realization from God about my role as a parent. It can feel all consuming. I have this responsibility, and anything that happens is squarely on my shoulders. But my role as a father is so brief. It is the shortest little glimpse, and the deeper reality is that myself, my wife, my daughters, we're all equally children of God. I felt a sense of solidarity with my children. Parent/child is a very, very special and sacred relationship, but the eternal reality is so much more, helping contextualize it and feel less all or nothing. There's going to be some stumbles, things aren't going to be perfect. We're not meant to have all the answers, but we are meant to sit in the moments of anxiety and not shut them off. We are meant to experience them, to reflect on them, and to do it in community with others.”
Family Matters is designed to meet families in the busy-ness of their everyday life and help them begin to look at daily events through a lens of faith. To learn more about the program, visit: WeAreGoodfaith.org/initiatives/family-matters
Learn more about OIS’s Ignatian Young Adult Ministries at IgnatianYoungAdults.org
Learn more about the Ignatian Spiritual Direction Initiative’s Catalog of Spiritual directors at SeekingSpiritualDirection.org
